It is no secret that I am definitely my own worst enemy sometimes.
Okay - most of the time.
I have mentioned my "crippling self doubt" before, and honestly it's scary to talk about soo publicly. Mainly because I am starting a business, and I really don't want people to truly know the fear I feel inside.
I am an avid Youtube watcher. I watch it more than TV or Netflix combined . I love immersing myself in other people's lives, seeing how they go about their day - empathizing with their struggles and celebrating their success. It's a wonderful world of escapism.
Now I'm going to be honest, I watched it all with a silent cynicism believing that while I observed and enjoyed, it would never have an impact on me (other than using up time I could be doing something else of course). I work in the business of PR and Communications. I felt that gave me some kind of untouchable force that meant I could view from a distance like some superhero or Queen.
My parents moved out of my childhood home yesterday.
16 years of memories cleaned up in 9.5 hours of loading and unloading.
And despite what I try telling myself (usually along the lines of "man up, woman. You haven't lived there in two years; heck you haven't lived in the same city for two years!"), I am really upset about it. It's hit me to my core.
"I don't make jokes anymore," I sigh to my sister, over the phone. It is 9:00pm at night, and I've finally completed a marathon 48 hours of assessmenting. 4000 words, 2 videos and 1 website later and I'm pooped.
Yet despite all that, I want to start a blog.
There's just one problem. I can't think of a title. And because I can not for the life of me think of a title for my blog that will probably have no readers, I'll never start one.
But for some reason, now, at 9:00 pm when my brain is fried and my leftover dinner is still sitting on the table from 6:30, the only thing I want to do is sit down and start. Most likely because there is no way I am cleaning those greasy dishes and I have to do something to convince my husband I am simply "too busy" to even contemplate the idea.