In a shocking turn of events I am pregnant!
Okay - that's a bit dramatic, even for me.
But the truth is, if you had asked me 2 years ago, after just giving birth to my beautiful baby girl after a difficult pregnancy filled with morning sickness the whole way through if I would have another baby I would have laughed at you.
I wouldn't have rejected it straight off the bat, but I would have laughed in a slightly terrified, hysterical sort of way.
You see, I was traumatised. The thought of putting myself through 9 months of HG, labour and the thrilling affects of the baby blues after birth was just too much to even comprehend so I didn't think about it.
But now, 2 years later (after therapy) I am in fact pregnant again. And at the risk of sounding too "religious" - Thank Gd I am.
I briefly wrote about the turning point in my decision to have a baby thanks to Louise Pentland here, so I won't go in to too much detail but let's just say that I came to a realisation that I desperately wanted another child. I wanted a baby. I wanted to be pregnant.
So here I am, 15 weeks in and I figured now would be a good time to sit down and write about how I have been feeling - to have some sort of reminder the next time I foolishly decide to tread down this weary path once again.
Please note: I am very grateful to be pregnant. Nevertheless my number rule that I have made with myself while blogging is that I will not self-censor. This is a description and depiction of how I am feeling while pregnant and spoiler alert - it's not great. It does not mean I don't love this baby because trust me, I do. If pregnancy is a difficult topic for you, I will not be offended if you click away now <3.
As for everyone - weeks 1-2 are fake weeks - you're not pregnant yet. So let's ignore them.
Week 3 - the exciting week - that's when I started feeling my symptoms (cramping, aching in certain upper areas and significant PMS). Let's just say the decision to test came after I yelled at someone in the childcare carpark (I am not a yeller). At 3 weeks and 5 days, I did a home test and VOILA. Preggo. I cried tears of absolute joy. Husband stared in happy shock.
Week 4 - the week we got the pregnancy confirmed by a GP and went overseas. Yes. You read that right. We went overseas 4 days after getting the blood test results. Armed with enough medication to last the trip should my violent nausea rear it's ugly head while we were gone, I headed on a 25 hour journey across the world.
Week 5 - Travelling. A lot of early mornings and late nights exploring, walking and eating. Slight nausea from motion sickness and occasional cramping but manageable.
Week 6 - oy week 6. The morning Sickness week. Okay so technically it was Week 5 and 5 days. My first vomit. Overseas. On our couple's only holiday. Our delayed (by 3 years and 1 child) honeymoon. And I started vomiting at the beginning of week 2. Needless to say we did not do as much exploring or eating in that week as we did in week 1.
Week 7 - Flying. And Jetlag. And Morning Sickness. The WORST combination. I could barely function. Kiddo learned the phrase "Mama resting" pretty quickly.
Week 8 - More flying - this time back interstate to spend the long weekend with my family (who we had seen the week before when we stopped off for a night on our way back from overseas to pick up said Kiddo who was staying with the grandparents). This was a great idea at the time that we booked it. Not so much when I actually had to step foot on another plane while feeling like the entire earth was spinning around me.
Week 9 - Still gross. Can't drink water. My body already hurts.
Week 10 - See above.
Week 11 - First OB appointment. He suggests ginger ale. Ginger Ale is life. Ginger Ale is everything. Ginger Ale gives me sustenance and a will to live.
Week 12 - The smell of ginger ale makes me sick. But I start to get my energy back. This is looking good. I actually reorganise my entire pantry after a moth and warm infestation forces us to throw everything out and clean it like our lives depend upon it. Maybe I'm actually getting the second trimester that I've dreamed about!
Week 13 - Nope. Migraines start. 24 hours of one sets me right back to the beginning with my nausea. Nausea = high. Energy = low. Spend most of this week in bed trying to find something I can drink.
Week 14 - Still no water but have discovered that Coke and Slurpees stay down like a treat. I hold on to this like a lifeline. Start this blog. THE BABY MOVES. I feel a rush of love unlike anything else and for a moment, the nausea feels worthwhile.
Week 15 - Next OB appointment. He tells me to continue drinking as much Coke as I need to keep the liquids in me. Feeling slightly more energised. Continue blogging although have a lull in posts for a few days due to migraines and nausea. Drink more coke.
So there you have it. My first 15 weeks of pregnancy. Mainly for me to look back on but for you too, if you so choose to read this far.
Needless to say it's been ROUGH. I can't keep any liquids down except coke, the medicine doesn't like staying down either and eating food is like playing Russian Roulette - you never know what's going to come back up.
But thankfully I haven't lost any weight (I haven't exactly gained any either), so at least I'm keeping something in and the baby is happy and healthy.
Will attempt to do weekly updates from here on out, so bring on Week 15-16!
Don't forget to share and comment - would love to hear your pregnancy experience (if you've had one)!